Finding Herself
by yo-doctor-death
Summary: Maura is the new Chief ME in town and wants to know more about this "Jane Rizzoli" everyone is talking about. Little does she know that her first case is going to involve the famed detective. As she learns more about this woman, she starts to reveal things about herself. Eventual Rizzles,
1. Chapter 1

Maura Isles stepped out of her black Cadillac, her leather stiletto boots making a tapping noise when they came in contact with the concrete. She leaned back into the car to get her medical examiners bag and the hem of her skirt came up to reveal the back of her knees. She stood back up and smoothed out the emerald green satin blouse before adjusting her black jacket. Her blonde hair trailed down to just below her shoulders in loose waves. She held the bag in her right hand and walked toward the intense light of the lamps at her first crime scene as Chief Medical Examiner.

She came upon the scene and her eyes immediately flickered to a tall woman with a wild mane of black curls. Her back was to Maura and she turned around as the sound of heels resonating off of the alley walls. Maura's breath caught as she took in the detective's beauty. The woman was wearing black boots accompanied by simple black pants with a form fitting purple button up finished off with a loose black blazer. Her face had very chiseled features, her jaw line the most compelling once you tore your eyes from her own brown ones.

"You must be the new Chief ME, Maura Isles," she held out a long fingered hand for Maura to shake, "I'm Detective Jane Rizzoli." Her hand hung in limbo as Maura tried to gather herself.

"Uh, yes! I'm Dr. Maura Isles," she put her own hand in Jane's and shook it, "Chief Medical Examiner of the-"

"Commonwealth of Massachusetts. You don't need to use the full title." Jane's smile wasn't mocking; instead it was warm, friendly even.

"Yes well, what do we have tonight?" Maura set her bag on the concrete and crouched next to the victim's body. Opening her bag she pulled out a pair of blue latex gloves and put them on.

Jane crouched next to Maura and felt the man's pockets looking for a wallet. She reached into the left pocket and pulled out a black leather wallet. She opened it and saw the ID and threw the wallet to Frost who had yet to come over to the body.

"Hey Frost, will you run the name and see if he has a record?" he nodded, looking a little sick.

"Is Detective Frost alright? He looks a bit sick." Maura looked up at Jane awaiting a response.

"Oh yeah. He's not so good with blood and guts. Don't ask me why he chose homicide but he's one hell of a detective."

Maura smiled and turned her attention back to the man on the concrete. She focused mainly on a large head wound that started at the hairline and trailed to around the crown of his head. Blood had coagulated in clumps in his short brown hair and pooled around the left side of his head.

"There's obvious blunt force trauma to the skull, but I will have to do a complete autopsy to get an accurate cause of death." She grabbed the liver thermometer and inserted it. The liver temp had dropped about 6 degrees. "Time of death between 2 and 3 hours ago." She slipped the thermometer into a baggie and placed it back in her bag. Jane jotted the woman's findings in her notebook and flipped it closed.

"Well your techs can probably take the body now, we just have to do a more thorough sweep of the area and we'll be packing up too."

"Alright." Maura motioned to a young man standing off to the side, "Get the victim back to the morgue please." he nodded and went back towards the van. She began to take off her gloves and put them in a plastic baggie and dropped it into her bag.

She turned on her toes and started walking back down the alley before turning back to the detective, "I'm starting the autopsy at 9 am if you want to observe." Jane nodded and returned her attention to Frost. Maura went along the alley followed by the whispers of other detectives. She could only make out a few words but determined that they had already given her a nickname.

_Queen of the Dead._

In all fairness it had a nice ring to it, but she heard Jane talking to them in a low growl, her raspy voice floating down the brick walls.

"Look, you don't know her, you don't know anything about her. How bout you shut your mouth before I shut it for you, alright?" Maura didn't hear the detectives response. She smiled at herself and continued back to her car, wondering what had made a seemingly stranger stand up for her like that.

She silently hoped that Jane and she would be friends. At least from the definition she knew, she hoped they would be friends.


	2. Chapter 2

Maura waits patiently as her espresso machine heats up the water to make her morning coffee. She's still in her purple silk pajamas and her white fuzzy slippers and has her hair thrown up in a messy ponytail. With no noise in her large home but the bubbling of the machine, her mind floated back to the dream she had last night; she and Jane had been friends. No, more than friends, they were best friends, laughing and telling each other about their lives. Jane would come down to autopsy and eat lunch, sitting on an empty table and crossing her legs Indian style in front of her, the burger sitting next to her on its wrapper. Jane was laughing about something, but Maura couldn't remember what.

Bass bumping into a table pulled her out of her thoughts and she pulled the lever on the chrome espresso machine allowing the hot liquid to flow into her cup. She picked up the insulated cup and snapped the lid on as she walked towards her bedroom to get dressed. Placing the cup carefully on a coaster that sat on her vanity she walked over to her closet and opened the French style doors. After scanning the row of clothing she pulled out a red satin long sleeved top and a tan skirt, pairing it with a nude heal she carefully got dressed. After putting on a small amount of makeup she grabbed her coffee and headed towards the door when she heard her cell phone ringing from her purse. She pulled it out of her purse and answered it.

"Dr. Isles."

"Hey Maura, it's Jane. We've got another body so it looks like you'll have to postpone the autopsy of the other vic. I'll text you the address and meet you there."

Jane hung up before she could get a word in. She shook her head and walked out the door as her screen lit up with the address. Programming it into her GPS she started her car and backed out of her garage and turned south on her street.

Pulling up to the crime scene she saw Jane striding towards her in a grey pantsuit that hung loose on her skinny frame. She put the car in park and stepped out, dropping her keys in the medical examiner's bag she always carried.

"Good morning Detective. How are you today?" Jane lifted the sunglasses from her eyes and rested them at the top of her head.

"I'm fine I guess. Thank you Doctor. I came out here to warn you. There's an awful lot of blood in there. Like, more than the usual. I just didn't want you to freak out when you sa-"

"Jane, I'm the Queen of the Dead remember?" she smiled at the detective and followed as Jane rolled her eyes and walked toward the house.

When they entered the house Jane turned down a blood streaked hallway that had crime scene techs working all over, forcing her and Maura to weave between them. Jane stepped over a shoe and turned around to tell Maura to watch her step just as she tripped over it, falling into Jane's arms.

"I-I- I'm so sorry Jane." she turned a crimson red and smoothed out her skirt, her eyes never leaving the floor. Jane looked at her and placed a light hand on her shoulder, patting softly.

"Don't worry about it Maura. It's alright." her voice was low as she looked around to make sure no one had seen Maura's mishap and if they had her look told them not to say anything about it. Maura's blush was still deepening, but Jane's hand on her shoulder made her feel less embarrassed about it.

"O-okay." her voice was a little shaky, still a bit nervous. Jane smiled at her and turned swiftly on her heel, continuing down the hallway and in to a bright sunroom. Maura brushed her hair out of her face and walked after Jane.

The inside of the room was painted a light beige color, making the dark red blood stains that much more vibrant. It took Maura less than a minute to locate the source o the blood: a female laying on beige carpet surrounded by blood, and a man posed on the couch with his throat slit, wrists and ankles wrapped with duct tape.

"It's Hoyt." Jane's gruff voice startled the doctor and she jumped a bit.

"Who's Hoyt?" Maura was puzzled by the tone of Jane's voice.

Jane looked at Maura sharply, her dark brown eyes clouded with fear and anger. Frost entered the room and saw Jane's face and pulled the doctor out of the room. Maura shuffled behind Frost, her heels making it hard to keep up with him. He didn't let go of her forearm until they were well outside of the house.

"Frost what is wrong with you?!" Maura smoothed her shirt and rubbed her arm.

"I'm sorry Dr. Isles, but Hoyt is a touchy subject for Jane."

"But _who_ is Hoyt?"

"Charles Hoyt. He is a serial killer who has had Jane in his crosshairs since she put him in prison 6 years ago. He had her trapped in a basement where he tortured her for hours, his coupe de grace was going to be killing her, but Korsak busted in before he could. Hoyt had her pinned to the floor with scalpels, that's where the scars on her hands came from. She says they don't hurt anymore but I still see her rubbing them when it gets cold." his voice was low, and she strained to make out the last sentence.

Her mind started to calculate all of the muscles and ligaments in the hands and wondered how long it had taken Jane to get her hands to function again. She looked over at Frost and stared into his eyes.

"Should she be alone? I mean sh-"

"She insists on being alone, but anything you can do to help would be great. If you could get her to stay at your house or something I can get a couple of uni's on it and say they're covering you. She won't let me put any on her house. Maybe tell her you need help with the case, she likes to feel useful, not like she's a burden."

"Okay, I'll try that." She turned and walked back to the house, her heels clicking on the paved walkway that led to the house.

She rejoined Jane in the sunroom and did a quick overview of the victims. After the crime scene techs were finished she looked and found Jane by the window, staring at descending sun and rubbing her scars.

"Jane, can I have a word with you?" Jane jumped at the sudden noise and turned, wiping at her eyes.

"Yeah, of course." Maura stepped up next to Jane and clasped her hands behind her back.

"I was looking through the case file on the other victim and I was having trouble putting the final ties together. Is there any way you could come over and help me?" Maura looked over at a smiling Jane.

"Did Frost put you up to this?" Maura blushed, "He does this every time a case even resembles Hoyt's MO. But yeah, I'll come over even though you probably don't need my help. See you at 8?"

Maura smiled.

"See you at 8."


	3. Chapter 3

Maura was pouring herself a glass of wine when Jane knocked on the door. She looked over at the clock that hung on the wall; 7:59 pm. She smiled to herself and set the wine bottle on the marble countertop and strode over to the door. She opened the door to reveal a very worn out looking detective.

"Why do you look like you're going to a fashion shoot?" Jane's voice was softer than it was at the crime scene earlier that day. Maura looked down at herself. She was wearing her old silk sleep shirt and white pants, nothing too fancy.

"I don't understand Jane." she looked at Jane and cocked her head to the side.

"Never mind." the woman chuckled. "Uh, are you gonna make me sleep on the porch or can I come in?" Maura blushed slightly and stepped aside.

"Please, come in." Jane walked in and set her black bag gently on an end table. Maura walked past her and into the kitchen to finish pouring her wine.

"Would you like some wine?" she looked up from her glass.

"Do you have beer?" Jane was looking around her house in awe. Maura smiled and opened her fridge. Frost had told her Jane drank beer so she had stopped by the store and grabbed a 6 pack of Blue Moon on her way home.

She walked into the living room with her wine in her right hand and the beer in her left. Handing it to Jane she motioned for them to sit on the couch and grabbed a black remote off of the side table. Jane watched as she pressed a green button and the painting above the mantle rotated to reveal a flat screen television.

"Holy shit!" Jane's voice squeaked a bit at her exclamation.

"Language!" Maura looked sideways at the detective who was smiling.

"Sorry Maura." she took a sip of her beer and set it on the coaster in front of her.

Turning the TV on, Maura flipped it to the Discovery channel and began to watch a documentary. She pulled her bare feet up onto the couch next to her and set the remote in between the detective and herself.

She felt the detective sitting next to her, but still didn't feel like she had a friend. She still felt as though she was alone. Picking up her wine glass she handed Jane the remote.

"I'm uh, going to go to the study and organize my paper work. Watch anything you please. I have a few documentaries on DVD over there," she pointed to 4 DVD's sitting alone on the bottom shelf of her entertainment center, "The study is down the hall, third door on the left, if you need me."

"Thank you, Maura. For everything." Maura smiled at Jane and walked to her study.

Sitting down at her large desk she felt all those years of not having a friend, not having parents that were there for her, come crashing down on her. She never knew that she was missing out on anything, but now that she could taste friendship she knew that she never wanted to let it go. The tears were falling before she could stop them and the sobs wracked her body. She didn't hear the TV turn off or the footsteps coming down the hallway.

"Maura?" Jane knocked on the door.

"Uh," she wiped her eyes hastily and sniffed, "come in."

Jane opened the door to reveal a dimly lit room full of bookshelves with leather bound books adorning them. One lamp was turned on and she could vaguely make out the shape of the doctor sitting at the desk by the window.

"Are you okay Doc?" she pulled up one of the wooden chairs and sat inches away from Maura.

"I-I'm fine Jane, thank you." she wiped her eyes once more before turning on another lamp. Bathed in the warm glow of the lamp, Jane could see the tear streaks the marked their way down Maura's porcelain cheeks.

"Last time I checked 'fine' did not include tears, Maura." Jane reached across the small gap and rubbed the doctor's knee. "You can talk to me, okay? I will listen." Maura brought her eyes up from the desk and met Jane's.

"It's a long story."

"I've got all night." Jane was stubborn. Maura chuckled a bit and played with a string at the hem of her blouse.

"I was adopted, and my parents... They weren't really around when I was young. I would sit by myself in my father's study and read all of his books on pathology and history, whatever I could get my hands on. When I got to junior high, pretty much everyone had written me off. I had no friends, but I didn't really know what I was missing. That year was the year that I sent off for a boarding school pamphlet. The next I was at the school in Sweden, where everybody there was on the same level I was. But I still didn't make friends. I guess I just never got the concept of it. But tonight, sitting there with you on the couch, I felt like I had missed so much. I still didn't feel like I had a friend, but I could taste what it might be like, and knowing that I may never get that scares me." her eyes are filling with tears again. Jane reaches across the small gap between them and rubs Maura's knee.

"Maura, I'm so sorry. I can't make those memories go away, but I can help you make new ones. As long as I am breathing we will be friends, okay Maur?" Jane looked into Maura's eyes.

"Maur?"

"Yeah, it's a nickname. Friends often give each other nicknames." Maura smiled at Jane, new tears forming. Happy tears.

"Thank you Jane. Thank you so much." Maura looked down at Jane's hand still on her knee, rubbing small circles in the fabric of her pants.

Jane moved her hand around Maura's back and pulled her in for a hug. Maura's breath whooshed out of her lungs as Jane squeezed her tightly. Her arms came up around Jane's back awkwardly as they embraced and she smiled to herself. Nuzzling herself into Jane's hair, the scent of vanilla wafted into her nose as she inhaled. Jane pulled away first, a smile gracing her lips.

"Are you okay?"

"Now, yes." Maura smiled at Jane and stood up, "The guest room is a little ways down the hall, second door on your right. My room is just across on the left. I think I'm going to go read a bit before bed, if that's alright with you?" Jane looked hesitant about going to bed. "Is something wrong Jane?"

"I uh... It's just that... I mean... The window in that room... it faces the street... I just... Never mind it's stupid I'm sorry."

"You're afraid that Hoyt will get in through the window... That's not stupid Jane. If you want you can sleep in my room. My bed is plenty big for two." She said it so matter of fact, like it was no big deal.

"Thank you Maur." the relief washed over Jane in a wave, and Maura noticed how at ease she looked after that.

Maura turned off the lamps and walked out of the study guided by the soft light streaming in from the hallway. Jane followed her closely and closed the door behind her. Pushing the door to her room open, Maura flicked on the light and walked over to the bed, pulling the large comforter down and slipping in between the sheets.

"Do you need pajamas or anything?" she looked at Jane.

"Oh, no thank you. I'll sleep in this." Maura looked at Jane's clothing; blue jeans and a 'Property of Boston Police' tee.

"No no no." she got up and walked to her dresser and pulled out a pair of cotton pajamas and tossed them to Jane. "Here, wear these. They will be much more comfortable." she walked back over to the bed and laid down, grabbing her medical journal off the night stand.

Jane walked to the bathroom adjoined to the bedroom and closed the door behind her, changing into the pajamas quickly and leaving hers on the hook on the door. She joined Maura in bed and lay on her side, watching Maura read.

Maura read for a few minutes before turning the light off, leaving the only light in the room a stream of silver from the moon outside. She lay awake for an hour after that, waiting for Jane to fall asleep before she did in case Jane was to need anything. Jane fell asleep relatively quickly but Maura couldn't seem to pull her eyes off of the detective. All of her features were softer, more relaxed. She looked even more beautiful asleep than she did awake. So peaceful. When Maura finally fell asleep she dreamt of Jane.

She had never slept so well.

* * *

**A/N: 1) Many of you commented about me bringing in Hoyt. He's not really going to show up much more in the story, I just used him as a way to get the girls together. Believe me, he scares me too. Very much. I do not enjoy writing him, do not enjoy watching him. **

** 2) Thank you so so so much for following/favoriting and reviewing my story! I get so excited to read the reviews and I'm glad you are all enjoying it!**


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